Thankful Thursday

Today is Thursday.  Today, like all others, I have a long list of things and people I am thankful for.

- I am thankful my grandpa had a doctors appointment yesterday, he is so prone to pneumonia.  I am glad he was able to get checked out and get some medicine before his cold got that bad.

- I am thankful for our amazing babysitter.  She truly is an angel.  I will post more on her later, she deserves her own post.

- I am thankful for the truck I pulled up next to today on my way to work.  I called the number, sent Dan there and he has a job interview on Tuesday!!

- I am thankful for my job!  I have a pretty good manager, but my director absolutely SUCKS!

- I am so thankful that both of my kids are wonderful, healthy children.  They make me crazy sometimes, but I really wouldn't change a single thing about either of them.

- I am thankful for so many more things, I will continue to post.  Hopefully AT LEAST every Thursday.

Day 4...oops

Today is day 4 of the new journey...the new me!  I am down 4.1 pounds.  This is not too bad, but I am fully aware that it an average of 1 pound per day is not healthy and will not continue.

Today has probably been the hardest day.  The first day that I went over my points BIG TIME!  I have actually had 3-9 points left over each day up until today.  This has been fun since I was able to end these days with a couple of Oreo's and milk.  I just couldn't help myself today.  UGH! 

I have worked out though!  I skipped Wednesday morning, I was so very exhausted.  UGH again!  I feel really good the days I do work out, so I probably won't skip too many more.  Not quite sure how to handle the weekends yet, so we shall see how this goes.

Wish me luck - my birthday is next week and its only human to associate birthdays and food!

Day One

Today turned out to be fabulous!  I did follow through and get up at 5:20am and head to the gym!  I did forget my iPod though...boo, but I made it through!  I walked for about 30 minutes - made it about 1.02 miles!!  Made it home in plenty of time to get ready, help get the kids ready and get to work on time.  (well, who's counting those 2 minutes?  I had to get gas!!!)

I weighed in this morning at 278.5 - UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was allowed 33 points today - and now it is 7:35 and I still have 9 points left.  What to do.  What to do.

I got 3 points for working out, but for  now, I have decided not to add them back in...this can only make things better, right?

I think I might actually divulge myself in 2 Oreo's and a 1/2 cup of milk....LOVE!

Trying another new thing...

What a crazy few weeks we have had.  Good crazy though!  My grandparents are officially moved in and its going great!  My grandmother is the warmest, kindest big-hearted person you will ever meet.  The kids absolutely adore them and enjoy going downstairs so much!  They think they are going on a mini-vacation or something, it's so cute!  Grandma has been cooking for us here and there and its just beyond awesome!  For anyone lucky enough to have a grandma, you know what I mean.  The cool thing about her cooking though is that she cooks like she is cooking for a post heart attack patient.  My grandpa has severe kidney failure along with high blood pressure, etc.  So, she does not salt while cooking and if she uses butter (mostly she uses olive oil) she uses Smart Balance.  This is all very good, to our surprise!  We used to cook with a huge heap of butter (for heating up veggies on the stove) and salt the heck out of EVERYTHING!  It's been a really nice change. 

So, yesterday I got up and took off on a couple of errands.  This is a time that Dan "allows" me, sort of unspoken.  This is time I can run out and get a couple of things done while he stays home and entertains the kiddos.  Yeah, he's cool like that and I got it that good!  So, I was thinking about joining a gym.  Dan has started working out with his bff Matt, in his basement.  He's doing so good and I am getting a little jealous - as well as turned on!  ;)  Along with his new change, Weight Watchers came to Citi on Friday to start the At-Work program.  We thought we would be able to sign up and weigh in on Friday, but they had such a great turn out that they weren't prepared.  Great huh!  This many people are ready to make a change in their lives!  WahooOO!!  Brooke and I headed to the WW store in the Wal-Mart and grabbed the Points Calculator and the journals.  We are going to go ahead and get this started while they are hammering out the meeting details at work.

Take a Quiz Tuesday

I stole this quiz from a very funny blogger Gina...and while I would rather keep her answers, I guess I will have to post my own, since this is my blog after all.



1. If you were stranded on a desert island and could pick one person to be stranded with you, who would you pick? Family members not included.


I would be happy to be stranded with Glenn Beck.  I have a newfound obsession with talk radio.  I have even given up a preset in the car to 97.1.  This is real talk, with healthy debate and educated opinions.  I really enjoy learning more about politics and current topics, much more than I thought I would.


2. Do you read celebrity gossip?


Does a bear poop in the woods?  I absolutely love them!  And the fact that I can access people.com from work...now that is pure heaven!


3. Favorite show you're watching this season?

As always, Grey's Anatomy.  I love, love, love this show.  I am not obsessed with McSteamy or McDreamy (but don't get me wrong, they are both fun to look at), its the real issues they deal with and the hidden humor.


4. How tall are you?


I am 5 foot 6 inches.  Please oh please do not let the next question be about my weight.


5. What was the last book you read?


Baby Laughs by Jenny McCarthy.  I started on Life Laughs by Jenny McCarthy, but it wasn't quite as funny...


6. Flats or heels?

75 pounds ago, I was becoming quite the heels girl.  However, since I decided to get lazy again and gained all my weight back, I am strictly a flats girl...with a serious need for 24/7 sneakers!


7. If you had to choose one natural disaster to go through, what would you choose-- Earthquake, Tornado, or Hurricane?


I think I would have chosen earthquake had I taken this a week ago.  However, after learning of the mass destruction the earthquake caused in Haiti, I really have no idea.  I guess I could go with Tornado as one of these has yet to cause the devastation that either a Earthquake or Hurricane has. 

8. Thong, panties, or (gasp) granny panties?

Oh boy....I was a thong kinda girl many, many pounds ago.  First came the 100 pounds, then the prego butt and well...as they say, the rest is history.  I am a panties girl I guess.  They aren't necessarily granny panties, but they aren't skimpy either.  They are still the size of Texas if you ask me.


So go on, join in the fun. All the cool kids are doing it. And then let me know if you do! Happy Tuesday!

Did you know that girls don't work?

The kids and I are in the car, yes - our new teal greenish-blue minivan has arrived.  Anywho, we are in the car and as usual, the kids are arguing over something.  Maybe this is all new to me because I was an only child, so I guess I really didn't have anyone to argue with.  Well, except my mother...ugh.  So, the kids are arguing and Lexi tells Daniel that girls go to dance class and boys go to work.  Hmm.  Wonder where she got her information, cuz that sure ain't the sitcheashun at home.  (And in case you are wondering, neither Dan nor myself go to dance class - just thought I should clear that up.)

I tried dance class with Lexi when she was just about 3 years old and 1 week.  Didn't go over too hot.  She stood in the corner with her hands in her mouth and only acknowledged the teacher when she got out the candy at the end of class.  She would look at herself in the mirror, act like she wasn't watching the other girls and only when no one was watching, she would kinda-sorta try out the moves they had just learned.  We went 4 weeks a row I think.  I was not very impressed with this dance school, but it had rave reviews so we decided to give it a shot.  We stopped going after the teacher was a no-show and no one (including the owner) knew what was going on.  Oh well, live and learn. 

It just so happens that Dan's previous employer happened to be in the same strip mall as her dance class.  And it just so happens that we pass said strip mall every day on the way to work/babysitters.  I am guessing since she is a girl and she went to dance class and since Dan is a boy and he went to work, this is where her theory came from.  The only weird part is that dance was back in August and Dan hasn't worked in over 2 months.  I gotta find out where this fairy tale world is in which girls go to dance class and boys go to work.  Wouldn't that be nice?

Well, the Benadryl is kicking in...I better call it a night.

She makes me crazy.

My mother.  She makes me crazy.  This is nothing new.  All of my life she has made me crazy.  I mostly only have negative memories of her.  I guess it's worse now that my kids are involved.  In my head I think I could take her or leave her.  In my heart I know that's not the right way to think.  What do I do?

It's all on her terms.  She is a marathoner.  She is busy.  I understand that.  She is also very private.  I don't understand that.  She has always been very self-involved.  She was only married once.  She has had several relationships.  She cuts them off when they seem to be "telling" her what to do.  She has had a few really good men.   She takes advantage of some people.  She recently found God.  I don't understand this either.  I am working on finding God myself.  She tried to change overnight into a God fearing woman.  It didn't work.  I know her too well.  Her relationship with my grandmother has always been rocky.  Her relationship with her siblings has been rocky.  Her sisters are mean.  Her brother was amazing and is gone.  She can be the best grandma ever when she wants to.  But my kids need more.  They need all the time.  It's not fair to them.  I feel terrible for them because they love her so much.  She has this endless energy about her.  They absolutely love that about her.  She is always broke.  She has an amazing job.  She makes good money.  She doesn't have many bills.  I am concerned she has a problem.  Is it drugs?  No because she cares too much about her body.  Is it gambling?  Could be.

I am not concerned about me having a mother.  It's too late for that.  I have my grandma.  That's all I need.  I still hate feeling like this.  This stream of conciousness made me feel a little better.

I took the plunge...#1

In the new year, I have vowed to try and be a better person.  More forgiving, less angry, etc.  So, the two people that my anger is centering deserved a piece of the new (under construction) me.  I am thinking that I am doing this backwards, which might work for me and help me to understand why I let the entire situation get to me so much.  I decided to write to each of these people and let them know that I am sorry for the hateful things I said and that I am letting the situation go.

Here is the first letter:

Hey Dude (changed....obviously),

I completely realize the FB is a very lame way to talk...but here goes.

I should have never, ever said the hateful things I did to you and I am sorry for how I reacted. I understand that this probably won't fix things and I am perfectly fine with that, I just want you to know that I could have chosen a better way to get my point across. I can see that we are two completely different people and while we share the same blood, we came from two completely different backgrounds. I am not name-calling or pointing fingers anymore.

In no way, shape or form do I consider myself (or Dan) the victim in this crappy situation, I hope you hear me on this. I completely understand that we had an agreement and we signed that agreement. Maybe I had impossible/incorrect expectations of the entire situation. I assumed that we would get help if we really needed it and that is not the case. There is so much going on in everyone's lives and while I realize that it was no one else's responsibility but ours to make sure that payment was made, we just couldn't do it anymore and rather than give up and move out, we looked for help.

I was angered by how things went down, how we were ignored, threatened, etc. I thought family would do more for family.

The situation is over and as they say, with every closed door, a window is opened. We are in a much better, affordable situation and are better off for it. Sometimes crappy situations can turn out to be pretty good life lessons.

I hope all is well with you.

Love,

Linds
 
I think I will save the other letter, although it was very similar (almost exact).  So, here goes on my journey, I wish I had some followers *sob* that could tell me if they think this letter would be effective.  Note - I have not received a response.

Things that make you go hmmm...

This is a very random post and I am certainly not judging, I am just wondering what the heck is running through her head.  Okay, so maybe I am judging a bit. 

Alright, we have had the same sitter for over a year and let me tell you, she is hands down fabulous.  I have actually tried to take the time and find something wrong with her.  Really, she is that good.  We found her through a great guy at my work.  She was his neighbor before he moved.  She was located about 1.5 miles from our old house in St. Charles and it couldn't have been a more perfect situation.  So, then that situation didn't work out (a whole 'nother post) and we moved back out to Wentzville and I travel from W-town, to St. Charles (about half way up Hwy 94 from Hwy 40) and then back down to work at Citi (Hwy K & Hwy 40), about 10 more miles each way.  Does this help in regards to how wonderful she is?   She was a little higher than we wanted to pay when I first called, but after we hung up, she called me back and knocked her price down $50 per week to $200.  Also, we had to pack our own lunches...something we had never had to do before (regular lunches for Lexi and of course our own formula and baby food for Lil Bear).  But it turned out that was better, because we always knew what they ate, no questions. 

We will call her fabulously wonderful or FW from here.  So, FW has 5 children of her own, ranging from 3 to 14.  The four older ones are in school and the youngest has become Lexi's very best friend.  Her youngest in-school daughter is 5 and her birthday is coming up.  FW's husband is a police officer.  He is there alot during the day and that makes me feel even better.  So, out of their 5 kids, they have 1 boy.  The two older girls are very quiet.  Evidentally, they both get straight A's and are just stellar kids.  I think this is great, she has reared some really good kids, good for me, right?  The older two get their hair done with FW, get their nails done, get Coach purses, Hollister clothing, etc.  And this is regular, everyday type of gifts.  Their son gets Wii games all the time....so, you get my drift?  Anywho, FW also works 1 day or so every week or so at Gymboree.  For those poor folks out there like me, Gymboree is a childrens clothing store, boutique style.  They have "lines" in which all of the clothing matches, from hair bows to the shirt, underwear, pants, socks, accessories and the list goes on.  So, as you can tell, the clothing is NOT CHEAP.  I am talking $20 for one t-shirt, $40 for a pair of jeans.  FW works there strictly for the discount...she will tell you this.  So, the two younger ones (and all the older ones when they were smaller) wear head-to-toe Gymboree.  I have in fact been sucked in, until I was basically put on kids clothing probation by Dan.  (This was a good thing, because this is when I discovered garage sales!!  A whole 'nother 'nother post).  She gets a 40% discount...not too shabby, but STILL!  She has managed to get Jamie completely hooked and now Baby M wears it all...but is just too cute!

FW is a talker...and I loves me a talker!  After spending all day with little ones, ages 4 and under - I would be talking the heck off someones ear!  She seems to talk about ALL of the money they spend.  UGH....only because I have none!  She has to have at least 10 kids and you figure about $100 per kid per week equals about $1000 per week....cold.cash.money!  Not to mention FW's hubby is a lieutenant for a nearby county police department and has been there for awhile...so he's probably making some bank too.

So, she loves to talk about the new lines with Gymboree, how they spend at least $100 every time they go out to eat as a family (which is an awful lot), her $90 shampoo and conditioner, the Coach purses she bought for herself and the two older girls, the American Girl dolls, etc.  So, today after Jamie and I picked up the kiddos, Jamie texted me to inform me that FW is purchasing a purse for her 2nd youngest child (the one in school)...but get this - its a freakin COACH purse, but its only the $180 one?  SNAP! 

HOLY WOW!  I don't think I have ever actually spent $180 on one single item, for myself, let alone a 5 year old.  So, I ask of my zero friends...what the heck?  What would a 5 year old need with a purse, a Coach purse nonetheless.  Again, I am trying not to judge, but wow.  Did I mention that she eventually knocked our weekly rate down from $200 to $150 since we referred Jamie and Carol?  So, they can afford to reduce our rate by $200 monthly and still afford designer handbags for their children.  I repeat, children. 

Divorce

I have read alot of blogs and articles about how couples make their relationships work so much better when they completely take the option of divorce out of the picture. 

Dan and I are doing amazingly right now.  We are both giving equal effort to our relationship and things are going very well.  I am really hoping we never, ever fight again.  However...we have only been married 5 years and we have 2 small children.  I would like more babies .  He does not.  I like to parent with an easy tone and a mutual respect between me and the kids.  He likes to teach, do as I say - not as I do and don't speak unless spoken to.  Unfortunately, fighting or squabbling is inevitable.  I can only pray that they will be silly fights, nothing big and we can get through them with nice words, no blaming, etc.  According to Dan, he won't ever get married again.  I am not sure if this means he would never get divorced or just that he would never re-marry.  Either way, I don't ever plan on getting a divorce.  I came into this marriage with the intent for death do us part, I think that he did too.

What I would like to learn is how to completely remove any option of divorce from the equation.  We have never really spoke of getting a divorce, but more in terms of what we would do if we ever split up.  So, in essence - we talk about it without actually talking about it.  So, if we could remove that thought completely, I think we could square up our arguments quicker and just get to the point and stop blaming and get it over with.

So, if I ever get any followers and you have any suggestions - I am welcoming them!